the "why"

The single question, the greatest paralyzer, and greatest motivator, of my running, has been, "Why?" Why should I run today? What will it matter? Why should I push myself past the point of discomfort? What would it mean?

Three years ago, I lost my job coaching for another group. I had quit my regular law job a year earlier. Things were, to put it delicately, in the shitter. Every day, "why" was the overriding question.

At first, it didn't need an answer. My friends, some of you, answered it with, "get your ass up, let's go run." that's how this all started, and that's what I always need to remember is the heart in our colorful logo - the love of friends.

But that can't answer everything. The question remains, plagues me, haunts me. Many days, I let it pin me to the bed, to the couch, to a dark, hopeless vision of what that day, or the next, holds.

Every day, we have to fight. Every day, we have to answer that question. Brian has to ask and answer it, after almost 21 flawless, awe-inspiring weeks of running and putting the work in. Lorrie and Anna Beth had to ask why they should persevere after injuries and illness.

Nancy has faced the question. One Tuesday night, she faced it through the entire workout. She had to think back to why she pulled the treadmill out into her living room the day after one of the toughest events in her life. Tuesday night, she wanted to quit, in the face of, "Why go on?" But she found four reasons, one for each repeat she had left: two to take back some measure of control that had been taken from her; two for her kids.

Don't get me wrong - you don't need drama or trauma, you don't need to need all of this, like some of us do. Jim and Eve are rocks, always (mostly proportionately) happy to be there. But do not be fooled - they wake up at 5:30am on Saturday mornings, and unless they are really cool robots, they, too, hear that question in their heads, and they must either answer it, or as many of us do on many days, ignore it.

It is easy to lose the thread, the faith, the reasons, the will, the love, to do this. But you each have, for six long months. You faced that question, and many others, and from day to day, you either found an answer, or chose to ignore the question and, to borrow the phrase that works, "just do it."

Your training is done. Now there’s just the waiting. But, there will be a few more days, more battles to be fought to get yourself through these days, and then, through the race, to quell your fears and doubts and face your goal with the desire and intent and will to meet it.

You've come this far, and each of you have repeatedly answered the questions, met the challenges, won enough battles. From here on out, there is no, "I hope..." There can be no more doubts in your heart or mind, because you've put in the work. Whatever you've left behind you in your training is behind you, pushed through. Whatever happens on race day will happen. But you now have every reason to know that you are ready, and that you're not being led to the race, you're stepping to the start line, willing, prepared, and determined to face whatever the day gives you.