Eat, Damn You!

OK, look, you all know that I have a certain amount of ego and pride involved in having people follow my lead and advice. But honestly, I know what I'm doing, particularly when it comes to eating and the things that happen after we eat, and the connection of those things to running.

If I tell you that you need to eat before a really long run, trust me, and make it happen. Here's the stuff I've been hearing:

Excuse: "I didn't have time to eat this morning."
Exemplar: Jacala
Reality: "I barely rolled my ass out of bed twenty minutes before I had to show up for the run."
Result: Initially, the only consequence is that you look like an idiot sucking down a Gu at mile three. Eventually, the pain of an empty stomach with that unholy gel crap pasted to one corner of it is going to make a run miserable. There is no substitute for real food.
Solution: Get your aforementioned ass up and eat. Eat a bagel, a packet of instant oatmeal. Whatever. Eat, damn you!

Excuse: "I don't like to/can't eat in the morning."
Exemplar: Carmen
Reality: She probably really doesn't want to, plus she's probably not eating enough to start with.
Result: "I felt like I was floating sideways during the run. Is that normal?"
Solution: Get up early, call Jacala to wake her ass up, and fix yourself something to eat. Experiment and find something you can stomach.

Excuse: "I had two chicken strips after working all day, an hour before going on an 18 mile run." Exemplar: Mandy
Reality: Well, yeah, she worked all day long at Shady Grove, and has to rush to get her long run in at night, so she doesn't have time to eat a proper meal. Also, pushing herself too hard to lose weight while she's in training.
Result: Getting dizzy and taking a seat in the middle of North Loop just past mile 11. Yuppie women drivers in Porsche SUV's having to put their cell phone calls on hold to ask if you're OK. repeating two more times during the run. Eventually, possibly passing completely the hell out. Though, I have to say, mad props for finishing the run the other night.
Solution: Either start running hella early in the morning, or an hour and a half before your run, have something with some carbs in it ready to stuff down - maybe a Hippie Sandwich or some rice dish or something. Hell, mix up a packet of instant oatmeal and grab a bite of it when you can, or get someone to cover for you for ten minutes while you stuff your sandwich hole.

Problem: "I've been running at a solid pace, but now I have to stop and take a five minute break in a dismal porta-potty."
Exemplar: Daniel
Reality: Guessing, but given some of the other evidence (ahem), I'd say he's also rolling out of bed and cramming food down with just enough time to be ten minutes late for the run.
Result: Poopy problems. And when you have to go, and you keep running, things tend to change from solid to other states entirely... And during a race, you lose time.
Solution: Get your ass out of bed, eat immediately, and leave yourself time to digest. Period.

Here's the thing - we're getting into distances where your weaknesses, particularly the consequences of your habits, will be exposed. If this happens sometime in January, you don't leave yourself much time to figure out what change is going to work for you. You don't want to be experimenting on race day. I've seen it happen, hell, I've done it, and it is almost always a bad, bad idea.

Now is the time to start experimenting with what you eat before a long run or race. You want some healthy carbs that your body is going to be able to access during your run. I've found oatmeal to be ideal, particularly if you control the portion by using instant packets. If I eat early enough before a really long run, I'll go with two packets. If I'm in a rush, I'll at least go with one.

You need to start getting in the habit of eating right the night(s) before. Apparently, what you eat two night before a long run or race is particularly helpful. Again, carbs like pasta are a good thing. Avoid the cream sauces and big salads that could lead to digestive issues. Eat early the night before your run, so things will get digested.

The morning of the run, get up early enough that you can eat and have about an hour to hit the water closet before you leave for the run. Trust me on this.

Look, you guys are working really hard, and you have been for months. Don't jack it up and short yourself by doing stupid things like not eating right, smoking too much, or skipping runs. you owe it to yourself, and to your running buddies who sort of depend on you to be out there with them. You know what I'm gonna say... DON'T SLACK!